Now Here is Nowhere

Today is Albert Camus' birthday. Happy birthday, Mr. Camus! He conceptualized and tried to explain what I believe to be the intrinsic burden human beings suffer through all their lives: that life, existence, our very being is absurd to the nth degree. There is something deep and innate within us that yearns for there to be meaning and order and purpose in our universe and lives.

Our reality and universe fail to provide this meaning. They will forever fail in this regard. Religion gives succor and faith-based hope that there is purpose. However, the proof is not to be obtained through this avenue, but only empty promises, smoke and ash. How can one prove without a shadow of doubt the existence of a All Supreme Being? Reality stays a perpetual stark antithesis to our desire for purpose. We shout into the void, begging it to acknowledge us and our struggle, and we receive no response. The only sound to be heard is the echo of our voice, pitiful and pleading.

My understanding of Camus' philosophy is thus: in order to thrive in this absurd reality, and not succumb to the despair and nihilism that settles in the soul after realization, one must embrace and channel the absurd fully in one's approach to living. This requires the ability to hold two opposing ideals as equal within your psyche. Yes life is meaningless and it is meaningless to try to give it meaning. Yes life is meaningless and therefore any meaning you ascribe to it has an intrinsic meaning. One accepts the essential truth of an absurd existence and does what is necessary to circumvent the absurd as often as possible.

Because to give into the absurd is to embrace suicide and nihilism. Two paths are available to those who have acknowledged the absurd: 1) escape from the absurd or 2) rebel against it. Escape is suicide. Escape is believing in salvation. Escape is endlessly devoting your time and energy to charitable works or societal issues. Rebelling is creating art, music, dance, or your own path. Rebelling is taking to time to cultivate your inner-world and enjoying that which makes you unique. Rebelling, for me, is finding small flashes of something bigger than my psyche when I get to orgasm during sexual intercourse with another male.

There is no escaping the absurd. It's there when we are born and it is there as we die. Every instance of every occurrence of any atom is without meaning. We humans need there to be meaning. Reality acts otherwise.