rootofpi.org

Two for Two Today

Sat, 21 Mar 2026 08:07:22 +0000

I have been hemming and hawing on typing out any kind of post for the past couple months. Agonizing over the simplest little detail like, “do I actually need to write about anything going on in my life currently?” or… “What’s the point?” Now that one, that gets me like none other. What’s the fucking bloody point? These days, if I am not working my work, jerking my cock, or downloading an endless array of media I most certainly will never get around to consuming, then anything else in the realm of possibility of doing just seems.. pointless. And that, honestly, has really gotta fucking stop being my default.

Starting Over, Again.

Mon, 29 Sep 2025 08:39:27 +0000

For whatever reason, I became bored and dissatisfied with this site. I neglected it for nearly a year. After another deep-dive into the rabbit hole of the indieweb, I am filled with the desire to have and maintain a personal website once again.

Which means that, as per my M.O., I’ve been spending way too much time reading through CMS and static-site generator documentation.. Trying to find the perfect, F/OSS, self-hostable solution to having a web presence. And of course, the perfect solution doesn’t exist. So, I’m allowing myself to just pick a poison and run with it. Make that two poisons. I’ll drink from both founts for an undetermined length of time which will hopefully give me insight into which system I prefer. [ That length of time turned out to be roughly 4 months. ]

Brain Mush

Sat, 27 Sep 2025 19:16:22 +0000

This has been building up in my psyche for the past couple months.

Forgive me if it is incoherent or just a wall-of-text.

I don’t want this isolation, see the state I’m in now. ~ Gorillaz “Humility”

I’m lonely. Deep in my soul, long dark tea-time, kinda lonely. It’s becoming increasingly overwhelming and unbearable. For most of my life, I’ve been alone and quite comfortable existing in that space. I had friends around and even lived with my sister for a good chunk of my adult life, so I wasn’t lonely. I picked and chose the times I would spend with others and otherwise would keep to myself. I am an introvert, tried and true. But I still had pretty consistent human interactions with those I cared for. But then… my meth use became known. The events of 2018 went down and I did my tour of mental health in-patient. I gave rehab a try and discovered that sobriety doesn’t fit me well.

A Check In

Sun, 09 Jul 2023 23:33:27 +0000

I’ve been trying to keep my mind distracted. in order to fuel some level of generation and energy flow, I’ve been using my wiki to flesh out the world of Tuesday_NeXT and some of its underlying concepts and creatures. I started out using DokuWiki a little while ago while my summer-fling was hot and heavy with MindMapping.

DokuWiki hasn’t really panned out in the personal daily use I was half-assed giving to it. Didn’t have enough to say.. That time has helped some concepts and use of wiki kinda seep into my brain. How linking pages and domains sorta makes sense but then my head just breaks.It’s a perfect match for me for creating and cultivating a fantasy world.

Weird Pleasure

Sun, 25 Jun 2023 23:10:04 +0000

I get extreme weird pleasure out of pulling facial hairs out right by the corner of my mouth. I discovered this when I first started growing a beard. The follicles have this gunk at the end of them that lets me stick the hairs to anything I please. The feeling once I’ve plucked them out is divine and only serves to drive me ritual of pulling out hairs and sticking them on things.

The Depths

Sun, 18 Jun 2023 14:50:14 +0000

Usually, I don’t like to write for myself when I’m depressed. Unless I’m being angsty and bitching about some situation, I have no desire to leave a record of my depths. This isn’t my usual depth tho. I’m back at weighing the pros and cons of continued existence. I hurt on many levels and there doesn’t seem to be any way to soothe the wounds.

Mom and Terry are almost finished building their house in Clifton. Estimated time of their departure is a little over a month from now. This is still being processed in my mind. My mother is leaving the city and is moving to a location that I have no means of reaching on my own. Our weekly dinners will become monthly ones. The house I grew up in will be sold and another portion of my past (also my version of normality) will be lost to the passage of time.

Getting out of the way

Fri, 02 Jun 2023 16:57:33 +0000

A major lesson in my life right now, that I’m still not fully comprehending, is staying out of the way and letting things happen like they should instead of how I think they should. My time here at Family Dollar is serving multiple purposes: both monetarily and therapeutically. And I keep getting anxious and find myself slipping back to old, ungrateful, habits. Staying in bed until the very last second, counting minutes while on the clock, stealing as many breaks as possible.. All of which just serves to make myself miserable and unfocused.

My Gaming Habits

Wed, 31 May 2023 10:25:52 +0000

For most of my life, I have been a gamer. The SNES and Genesis¹ were huge parts of my child hood. When the N64 came out, I almost sold my soul to acquire it. Up until The Thing That Happened, I was regularly playing Overwatch with friends online and causing general mayhem wherever we went.

Then The Thing That Happened came along and I lost most platforms I previously had to game on. I also lost most of my interest in playing games, found new focus on meth and jacking off instead. I had my android phones and didn’t really see any games that intrigued me in the sea of click-bait and idle tap-tap games in he Play Store.

The Routine

Wed, 17 May 2023 23:50:44 +0000

I am getting used to the routine. It goes a little something like this:

Days I work:
- Try to wake up around 7am to get ready to go eat breakfast at Samaritan House.
- Catch a zipzone to SH and eat breakfast and catch a zipzone back to the hostel.
- Play around on my phone, either a round of Wild Rift or Dead Cells or Legends of Runeterra for a couple hours.
- Take a nap until it’s time to get a zipzone back to work.
- Walk to the pickup and hope that I get Alfred or Ruth as a driver this time.
- Usually, I woke up late so I get to work a little late.
- Work and work and work. Time goes by relatively quickly still. 10pm never comes fast enough tho.
- Catch the #1 down Hemphill to Berry and walk the rest of the way back to the hostel.
- Climb into my bunk bed and strip to cool down.
- Play a round of Wild Rift until I fall asleep.
Days I don’t work:

The Ghost Spoke Again Today.

Sun, 23 Apr 2023 21:46:22 +0000

There is a spirit inhabiting the store I work at. It made itself known to me the first time I worked there. It doesn’t seem mean or feel threatening, it simply likes to knock shit down occasionally. It likes to make itself known.

Today, I was checking a customer out (both literally and figuratively, the fellow was FAF¹,) when a display by the door abruptly tumbled over sans physical contact. The ghost² once again seemed to feel the urge to be known by we other occupants. It was the largest display of selfhood from the haunt I have been privileged to experience to date. I wonder who it was trying to express itself to.. What did it want to say?

Could it stop being a good day?

Sun, 09 Apr 2023 21:16:23 +0000

Could it stop being a good day? I’m not used to this level. I’m not used to this level of blessed. Blessed is not a phrase I throw around lightly and easily. When someone responds to the question “how are you?” with “I’m blessed” or, even worse, “blessed and highly favored,” my initial reaction is to roll my eyes.

Not because I don’t believe them, but because I hold the belief that every being on this earth is blessed and highly favored.. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be here on this planet. We are all blessed just by our continued existence.

Another First

Fri, 07 Apr 2023 21:00:44 +0000

Here’s another first in my life: I’m homeless. Literally and figuratively: homeless. I have no home, no room, no any-sort-of-shelter for myself. It’s Friday night now and this happened on Monday. Really, the happening happened over the course of the past half year or so. I allowed myself to become bitter and sullen and nasty. I treated the staff of where I lived like shit, and didn’t make any concessions towards improving myself any-more.

Relationship Daydreams.

Sun, 27 Feb 2022 23:47:37 +0000

Morbid shifting of my ideal relationship.

The Chair Leg of Truth

Wed, 24 Nov 2021 11:16:49 +0000

I ran across an unexpected data-treasure-hoard this morning, a righteous gift of forgotten wonder and whimsy.

A Fun Game For Every Boy and Girl to Play!

Sun, 14 Nov 2021 12:31:11 +0000

Simple game to play when you’re high as hell.

Denial Will Not Serve the Situation

Fri, 15 Oct 2021 16:45:27 +0000

my spun-ass has cleared the threshold of whatever sordid dwelling we were currently occupying

Alone Down There

Sun, 27 Jun 2021 15:03:50 +0000

Ebbing back and forth for hours. Zac showed up at my door sometime around 5pm. Full of his particular brand of self-defacing gloom-doom-prophecy.

And What's Most Importantly Is

Sun, 27 Jun 2021 02:36:09 +0000

to try and wrap my head around a meta thriving in an evolving game system.. to grind stupid little resources to unlock virtual collectables that do nothing more than amuse.

Gay Hookup Cliches - Grindr Made A Monster Out Of Me.

Tue, 15 Jun 2021 06:49:28 +0000

This is the main and only way I know how to interface with another gay man and be … social with him.

Truth of the Situation

Mon, 24 May 2021 14:39:40 +0000

My widget is lying.

Not Clever

Wed, 21 Apr 2021 19:05:10 +0000

I’m tired of the game and its ruleset. It feels like I’ve given everything to it and have gotten not quite what I bargained for in return.

My Lane

Sun, 21 Mar 2021 09:18:49 -0500

Bad habit of being irritated by other’s actions and trying to fix their actions to make myself happy.

Beware the Ides of March

Mon, 15 Mar 2021 12:18:44 +0000

Poor Julius Caesar.

No Coincidences

Sat, 06 Mar 2021 05:38:51 +0000

So, I was going to play the Little Lost White Boy card and hope for the best, but I didn’t have to..

Standard Definition of Insanity

Wed, 03 Mar 2021 05:32:20 +0000

Just two hot-mess tweakers using the public transportation system to make a visit to the ER.

I Touched a Cat Today

Sun, 21 Feb 2021 05:27:51 +0000

Ever since Fiona passed on a couple years ago, and the Huies gave up on me, I have been lacking in contact with a feline. A large part of my soul is aligned with cats.

I Can't Feel My Face When I'm With You

Sun, 17 Jan 2021 05:18:57 +0000

The golden shining higher being of this one is easily rendered foggy and out-of-focus these days when the last full night of sleep is a barely half-assed guesstimate for remembrance.

Home

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 22:19:41 +0000

the ethos and vibe I got from it was that the developer wants it to be used to tell personal stories through interactive “gameplay.” sounds right up my alley.

Building a CLI Flow 01

Tue, 10 Nov 2020 22:14:04 +0000

So, I feel like my grasp of scripting and pipelines is decent enough to cobble together a functioning bash script using programs and sources at my disposal that should take care of what I want to do. Namely, a locally saved, single file .html

New Skill Acquired

Fri, 16 Oct 2020 22:10:32 +0000

My boyfriend at the time was like me, a tweaker conspiracy nut, and had a serious “privacy in the digital age” fascination bordering on obsession.

Limits and Memories Are Mutable

Mon, 14 Sep 2020 22:07:30 +0000

my hard limits seem to not be as hard as they once were. and i cannot with any certainty say what is my rock bottom or a general boundary to myself at this current time.

Clarity Statement

Sun, 23 Aug 2020 22:03:53 +0000

This is my story. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

Genesis Part 3

Tue, 21 Jul 2020 23:07:08 +0000

I’m sweating like a whore in church. I’ve already taken off my shirt and there I go walking half naked down the road.

Mind Stress

Thu, 16 Jul 2020 22:55:24 +0000

Time slowly marches onward and I feel the slow passing of the seconds like knife cuts across my skin.

Hello

Fri, 10 Jul 2020 17:04:44 +0000

i come across a new sparkly piece of the puzzle of unidentified wide beyond every day. it also takes over. most of my time alone is spent gazing into the screen.

Out of Sequence

Thu, 20 Feb 2020 15:59:25 +0000

The ethereal plan’e border between itself and my world is quickly erroding. Specific events stand out in my mind

What Do I Stand to Lose

Thu, 06 Feb 2020 11:53:44 +0000

I could go on and on. The allure is strong and the pull is definitely real. My mind apparently hasn’t given up its fascination with the entire process of using and being used.