I did this to myself. Or, more appropriately, I didn’t stop any of the processes I mindlessly enabled and fed. I started to feel feelings for one of my main fuck buds. All because I was operating under a different POV than what I should have been, it hit me like a 800 ton brick house when he casually mentioned his boyfriend. Covered up immediately with the addendum that it’s just role play, the title. But the effect was already resonating and known.

There’s this thing in my mind that signifies sleeping next to someone as one of the ultimate forms of intimacy. It transforms any level of platonic amicability I have for the other into a full on philos and amos attachment.